I need to die misunderstood.
Aug. 13th, 2011 07:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lotus0kidWell, since my only prompt for drunk fic-writing was for Death/Satan fic, I've decided to do something else! Just this morning I got my grubby mits on CE's film Shallow Grave, so, once I'm at least a Woodchuck and a half into the afternoon, I will drunk live-post it. Live-posting has helped me through The Thing, The Fly, and The Omen chronologically, and considering the mixed reviews I've heard about Shallow Grave, I think a little alcohol can only help.
You know what's weird? All through this morning I was dealing with a more than minor headache, light-sensitivity, and a really uncomfortable stomach. It honestly felt like a hangover, and I had yet to drink anything, and I wasn't even planning on drinking that much. So what's that about? Was that in Discworld, some kind of temporal alcohol where you get the hangover before you get drunk? I really think I read something like that somewhere... Anyway, I feel better now, thank goodness.
Drinking alone in my apartment is nice because I can get as psychosomatically tipsy as I want without feeling like anyone is judging me. Do you ever get that way, fellow lightweights? You have one drink and inside you’re like, “Wheee...” but on the outside you feel like you have to be like, “No, I’m fine.” Anyway, *gulp* that’s the last of my Woodchuck (*mourns*), let’s get cracking!
Red screen with white text scrolling past. Oh hi, CE- with a Scottish accent? Nice. Voiceover, something about friendship and trusting said friends. Now the music’s gone all techno-y. Shots of a forest intercut with city streets. Uh huh, we can move on now? Ah, someone going up a flight of stairs, is it our boy? Don’t think so... He rings a doorbell, someone opens it and he says, “I’ve come about the room.”
His name is Cameron and he’s facing three folks like he’s interviewing for a reality show. And he’s being shot down in about the same way. CE (David) opens the door for him to leave, cracking up all the while. The other two crack up along with him.
Okay, more people, and the trio asking weird questions about music and divorce status and satanic sacrifices. These people seem like real dicks. And all the costumes are PAINFULLY EIGHTIES. Oh, now they’re playing racket ball, also like dicks.
Now they’re in the car, arguing about potential roommates. Back in the apartment, with another potential, Hugo. He’s talking about the book he’s writing. The phone rings and Juliet (the girl of the trio) asks him to answer it, saying if it’s for her then she’s not here.
(Yeesh, eight minutes in and I need a bathroom break. How do people who actually drink handle that?)
Anyway, the call is for her and he does as he was told. Okay, apparently the caller (Brian) is upset, and that’s an improvement, according to Juliet (who is a doctor). Man, hurry up, guys, you’re wasting my buzz.
Later, Alex (other guy of the trio) and Juliet are comparing notes on Hugo. Another phone call, again for Juliet. David bustles in, and Alex reads a love letter to Juliet out loud and she steps out of the bath shirtless to snatch the letter from him.
Looks like Hugo’s got the room, as the trio tells him over dinner. And then David asks if Hugo’s ever killed a man, cut to two thugs assaulting someone at an ATM. “No,” Hugo says. Alex leans over and takes a big sniff of the cash on the table (provided to prove Hugo can pay for the room), it’s creepy.
Hugo seems to be sneaking into the apartment early in the morning with his bags. He locks the door to his room behind him.
Alex is flicking through the TV channels and Juliet is looking for Hugo. The phone rings again for Juliet and Alex summarily dismisses it. Morning, and David dashes out again (No, don’t go, sweetheart...).
Okay, I think there was a shot of Alex and David poking around at Hugo’s car. (*bathroom break, my god*) The trio are trying to get Hugo to open the door, though they can’t really tell if he’s even in there. They end up having to break the door in and- ruh roh. Hugo’s naked corpse is lying on the bed. Alex doesn’t seem particularly upset, more curious. He’s poking around the room and comes up with a needle and... well, drugs, I assume. David seems fairly transfixed by the corpse (probably not a good sign).
Alex pops open Hugo’s suitcase, he’s breathing hard as he presents its contents to Juliet. Cut to the kitchen- ah, it’s stuffed with stacks of cash. Alex wants to keep the money, the other two don’t. But now they’re cracking up over the thought of turning it in to the police. So... I doubt that whole notifying the authorities thing happened. Not even about the body in their newly spare room.
The trio go about their lives. One night David comes in and asks the other two when they’ll call the police. Juliet is “getting used to having (the rotting corpse) around.” Nice.
David’s at work, getting confusingly patronized by his boss, I assume. He gives David a new client, cut to him at his desk, hard at work, but eyeing his co-workers. And Juliet is sitting in front of him, where the hell did she come from?
Okay, Alex is talking about burying the body, all the ways to make sure Hugo is never identified if he’s found. Right in the middle of the hardware store- smart, Alex.
(Another damn bathroom break. Twenty-four minutes, dear lord.)
Juliet and David “can’t do it,” so Alex huffily goes off to bury him. Confusing cut to an all red screen and a man being shoved in and held like he’s being drowned. Who the hell was that? Cut back to the trio spreading out a tarp for Hugo’s corpse. “There’s something I want to ask,” David says. Cut back to the man, who seems to be getting tortured by two other men. “I don’t know!” he cries. I guess David’s question was about whether anyone will come looking for Hugo, which Alex angrily shuts down. “Where’s Hugo?!” the torturers demand. The trio clumsily carry Hugo’s plastic-wrapped corpse down the stairs. The torturers don’t get any information out of their.. torturee, who promptly drowns, while the trio gathers supplies to chop Hugo up.
Heh, they’re drawing straws to see who will do the dirty work. That’s kind of funny, I guess. Bad ‘80s soundtrack kind of ruins things, though. They draw straws, very slowly (come on, guys, you don’t have all night)- David draws the short straw. “I can’t do it,” he insists, so a team effort it is! Or not, as David retches while he saws through Hugo’s limbs. Then he knocks out Hugo’s teeth. A brief shot of David’s blank face, lying on some white sheet. Back to the burial, back to David. “Are you all right?” a female voice asks. “Oh yes, I’m fine, thanks, just fine,” he says. “Would you like to talk about it?” “No.” Juliet leaves. Yeah, I’m sure David is a-okay!
Alex watching crappy game shows, having a fine time, apparently. David and Juliet are hiding the suitcase of money in the attic. Alex bangs on a drum kit, he thinks they should have hid it in a mattress or under the floorboards, or in the fridge. Okay, whatever, criminal mastermind.
Ah, I think Juliet dropped off Hugo’s severed limbs for incineration at the hospital while Alex pushed Hugo’s car into a lake. Well, that’s pretty smart, I guess.
The trio are at party to “raise funds for the sick children’s unit.” This is apparently bad news for Alex. Wow. And yet Juliet seems raring to dance with him. Wow, Scottish dancing is not something I would like to attempt while drunk- lots of spinning and bouncing. But Juliet and Alex seem to be having fun.
The two thugs from before pull a half-frozen man out of a cooler. Apparently they don’t like what comes from his trembling lips as they put him back in the cooler and leave him there.
Alex is pouring champagne while David tries to talk to him and Juliet about something. Alex won’t talk until David drinks “to love and happiness forever!” Ah, Alex spots Cameron (the potential roommate from before) and calls him over just to blow him off. What a charmer, this one. Someone else approaches the trio’s table to talk to Juliet and David gets in his face all “If you want to talk to my girlfriend, you talk to me first!” The guy shuffles off, and Alex and Juliet are duly impressed. Aw man, don’t make him like you guys, please...
HA! Alex went to the bathroom and got jumped by Cameron! Totally punched him right in the freaking nose! Nice!
Next morning, Alex pouts, David leaves, Juliet answers the phone, but the caller doesn’t say anything. “Let’s spend some money,” Juliet suggests, cut to her and Alex watching a video of themselves with all their new toys. Mm, ‘80s-tastic. David comes in and demands to know how much the stuff costs. They say 500 pounds, but he says they don’t know how much it really cost them yet. Good point, David.
Cut to the thugs, who have found Hugo’s car. Cut to someone kicking in a door, waking David in bed. He comes down the stairs to see the apartment on the lower floor broken into. He goes back to sleep.
The trio eat dinner and Alex accuses David of “not eating like [he] used to.” He says David should spend some of the money, Juliet agrees. David wants to “secure it.” “I didn’t get into this for nothing,” Alex says, “So I could have nothing.” “Yeah, and you didn’t saw his feet off,” David retorts, giving everyone pause. So far, David’s my objective favorite, that’s for sure.
David’s up in the attic, wrapping the suitcase of money in a yellow plastic bag. “Security and insanity are not the same thing,” Alex calls up from below. David doesn’t reply, only duct tapes the bag shut. “Shit,” Alex says. David puts the suitcase somewhere... wet, I can’t tell where.
Alex and Juliet are at the hospital, Alex is trying to convince her that “a grown man shouldn’t be living in a loft.” That she should use her “influence” to get him down and “be safe.” And then they could put the money somewhere- “Where he can’t get it,” Juliet says. “Well you thought of that, not me,” Alex replies.
David is up in theattic loft with power tools, telling his boss he can’t come into work. Ah, seems he’s installed a lock on the attic. He’s sitting up in the dark, turning a flashlight on and off. A sure sign of mental health.
Alex and Juliet are eating dinner alone when the door rings. The thugs burst in, viciously attacking Alex and Juliet. Alex screams out the location of the money.
One thug goes up the ladder, and a thump is heard, so the other one follows him up. Into the dark. He tries to turn on a light, but it burns out. Its dying flash shows David come up from behind. The two thugs’ bodies drop out of the loft, with David landing behind, holding a knife. He cuts Juliet’s bonds. Whoa, that was kind of badass, in a worrying way.
Back to the woods for more corpse-burying. It’s a little more artsy this time, with David covering a flashlight with his fingers intercut with him presumably hacking up bodies and digging graves.
Juliet’s at a travel agent’s shop, and I do believe it’s Tony Curran helping her plan her getaway! Hi, Tony Curran! Wow, how fresh-faced are you?
Back at the apartment, footsteps creaking on the ceiling and Alex trying to watch TV. A hole is drilled right above Alex’s head. More holes, David working away, Juliet shushing Alex. Outside, I think Juliet’s trying to get Alex to go up and get the money away from David, but he thinks he’ll end up like the thugs (probably right). Juliet tries to charm him, saying he’s smarter than David. “Yeah, well, that’s what I’ve always thought,” he says. Doesn’t sound like he thinks that anymore.
(Bathroom break. Fifty-six minutes, an improvement. I think my buzz is fading a bit.)
David in the house, digging through a desk drawer, possibly seeing Juliet’s plane tickets. The door rings, revealing a couple cops who need to ask some questions about the burglary downstairs. They ask if the other “three people living in the flat” heard anything. “There are only two other people living in the flat,” David says. The cops exchange glances. David asks who said there were four, but they don’t say.
Alex and Juliet are heading back into the house, Juliet having convinced Alex. There’s a fairly amusing exchange where Alex tells Juliet to tell the cops it was David’s idea because “I need to die misunderstood.” Alex comes up the ladder, talking like a hostage-negotiator. He creeps into the loft with a flashlight. All the holes drilled through the ceiling make interesting light beams shine up into the darkness. Alex is startled by a pigeon.
(Whoa, there’s a storm blowing through. Second or third one today, actually, and Sunday’s supposed to be worse...)
David comes up behind Juliet who’s waiting at the bottom of the ladder and covers her mouth. “Tell him to look for the money,” he tells her. “It’s not up here,” Alex says. Then he looks in... Dude, I don’t know what that is, just a big box of water- what the hell is that? But the money’s in there, to Alex’s delight. He comes back down, only to have David hold him up at... screwdriver-point. Electric, not sonic. David accuses him of talking to the police- coming very close to drilling a hole in Alex’s head. Juliet stops him.
Alex wakes up in bed, gets dressed and heads out, while David peers from the holes above like a weird nocturnal monkey. Juliet’s alarm goes off, and he scampers over to watch her wake and climb out of bed and get dressed like a weird, perverted, nocturnal monkey. Jeepers, David. At least he seems a little ashamed of it, just before she leaves as well.
He showers- why hello, CE butt! How nice to see you after all the weird goings-on! Ah, Juliet didn’t go out, she was crouched in a corner. She couldn’t go to work “with a face like this,” referencing the bruises from the thugs’ attack, I guess.
Alex is at work, typing up a document whose first line is “In the event of my death, I want the following facts to be known-” Someone tells him to go speak to the boss.
“I’m sorry,” David tells Juliet. “So you should be,” she says. He strokes her cheek, “Maybe we can still sort this out.” “Well we can certainly try.” Aw, that was nice.
Alex’s boss sends him out to cover a story about three bodies “decomposed, mutilated beyond recognition.” Yeah, he might know something about that, despite what he says. Meanwhile, it seems Juliet and David have retreated to the bedroom. Alex sits uncomfortably while the cops go over what they know about the bodies. He slips out and runs for his car, and drives back to the flat.
Juliet and David sit on the couch. “Are you okay?” Alex asks. “Yes, of course,” Juliet says, “Why wouldn’t I be?” Um, because you seem slightly hypnotized? Apparently they heard about the bodies on the news. “[The grave] wasn’t deep enough,” David says, “I told you it wasn’t deep enough, and you wouldn’t listen!” Alex insists no one will identify the bodies, but the other two aren’t exactly reassured.
Alex has a nightmare about the cops finding the money. He jerks up to Juliet I guess trying to break it to him gently that she’s with David (for whatever that’s worth, since it seems to be more of a ploy to make sure he doesn’t kill her than any real affection). “Oh don’t worry,” Alex says, “I’d do the same thing only I don’t think I’m his type.” Heh, a tiny little something for the slashers, but I’ll take what I can get.
The cops are questioning Juliet, showing her pictures of the thugs, I assume. She plays it cool. So does Alex, when it’s his turn. “If I told you that their car was parked outside just now, would that surprise you?” David watches from above as Alex says, “Yes, I suppose so.” The cops say it’s not parked out there and get up to leave, but not without asking if Alex’s watch is real or not and giving him a card with a phone number to call.
The trio confer, with David and Juliet insisting the cops know. Late at night, Alex gets out of bed. David takes the money out of the... box of water (seriously, what is that thing?), and out of the plastic bag, lowering it out of the loft. Ooh, looks like Alex is calling the cops. David packs a bag while Alex gets the answering machine.
“David, you forgot to wake me,” Juliet says, stopping him on the way to the door. “So let’s go,” she says, “You and me.” “Together.” David calls out to Alex, asking, “Who you calling this time of night?” Alex creeps out of hiding and David makes some very uncomfortable goodbyes. “Where do you think you’ll go?” Alex asks. David reveals that he knows Juliet was headed for Rio de Janeiro. Alex claims he bought the tickets, and tells Juliet to let David leave with the money.
Oh jeez. Juliet steps up to David with her charming face on, and he smacks her. Favorite status: lost. And, surprisingly, earned by Alex as he jumps on David, shouting “You shouldn’t have hit her! You can do what you like, but you shouldn’t have hit her!”
Juliet grabs the suitcase of money and drags it into the kitchen, but David follows and yanks her off it by the hair. She smacks him in the head with a toaster while he’s distracted kicking Alex in the shin. Alex tackles him onto the table.
Oh dear, well, more scuffling ends in David stabbing Alex through the chest with a huge kitchen knife. They generously provide a shot of the knife digging into the floor beneath Alex. But whoops! Here comes Juliet, stabbing David in the back. He seems down for the count. She leans over Alex, “You did the right thing. But I can’t take you with me.” Oh jeez, she takes her shoe and hammers on the knife still stuck in Alex’s chest while he screams, before dragging the suitcase out of the apartment.
Alex lies there, gasping and moaning and whimpering. David exhales his last breath. Now the cops are there, someone taking pictures of Alex. “Hello, inspector,” he says, but something tells me he’s not actually alive.
Or maybe he is. Because Juliet is in her car, very upset, sitting next to the suitcase which is filled with newspaper. The money is hidden under the floorboards, right under Alex, actually. When the heck did that happen? Juliet goes to the airport anyway.
Back to David lying on a white sheet. Ah, his voiceover seems to be one of those “dead narrator” deals, as his body is rolled into one of those safety deposit-like boxes in a morgue.
Credits roll over the trio laughing it up in happier times, somewhat cruelly.
Well. I guess that was pretty okay. I’d like to watch it again, focusing more on David’s descent into madness, which was what I’d always heard praised about the film. As for now, I feel like sushi.
You know what's weird? All through this morning I was dealing with a more than minor headache, light-sensitivity, and a really uncomfortable stomach. It honestly felt like a hangover, and I had yet to drink anything, and I wasn't even planning on drinking that much. So what's that about? Was that in Discworld, some kind of temporal alcohol where you get the hangover before you get drunk? I really think I read something like that somewhere... Anyway, I feel better now, thank goodness.
Drinking alone in my apartment is nice because I can get as psychosomatically tipsy as I want without feeling like anyone is judging me. Do you ever get that way, fellow lightweights? You have one drink and inside you’re like, “Wheee...” but on the outside you feel like you have to be like, “No, I’m fine.” Anyway, *gulp* that’s the last of my Woodchuck (*mourns*), let’s get cracking!
Red screen with white text scrolling past. Oh hi, CE- with a Scottish accent? Nice. Voiceover, something about friendship and trusting said friends. Now the music’s gone all techno-y. Shots of a forest intercut with city streets. Uh huh, we can move on now? Ah, someone going up a flight of stairs, is it our boy? Don’t think so... He rings a doorbell, someone opens it and he says, “I’ve come about the room.”
His name is Cameron and he’s facing three folks like he’s interviewing for a reality show. And he’s being shot down in about the same way. CE (David) opens the door for him to leave, cracking up all the while. The other two crack up along with him.
Okay, more people, and the trio asking weird questions about music and divorce status and satanic sacrifices. These people seem like real dicks. And all the costumes are PAINFULLY EIGHTIES. Oh, now they’re playing racket ball, also like dicks.
Now they’re in the car, arguing about potential roommates. Back in the apartment, with another potential, Hugo. He’s talking about the book he’s writing. The phone rings and Juliet (the girl of the trio) asks him to answer it, saying if it’s for her then she’s not here.
(Yeesh, eight minutes in and I need a bathroom break. How do people who actually drink handle that?)
Anyway, the call is for her and he does as he was told. Okay, apparently the caller (Brian) is upset, and that’s an improvement, according to Juliet (who is a doctor). Man, hurry up, guys, you’re wasting my buzz.
Later, Alex (other guy of the trio) and Juliet are comparing notes on Hugo. Another phone call, again for Juliet. David bustles in, and Alex reads a love letter to Juliet out loud and she steps out of the bath shirtless to snatch the letter from him.
Looks like Hugo’s got the room, as the trio tells him over dinner. And then David asks if Hugo’s ever killed a man, cut to two thugs assaulting someone at an ATM. “No,” Hugo says. Alex leans over and takes a big sniff of the cash on the table (provided to prove Hugo can pay for the room), it’s creepy.
Hugo seems to be sneaking into the apartment early in the morning with his bags. He locks the door to his room behind him.
Alex is flicking through the TV channels and Juliet is looking for Hugo. The phone rings again for Juliet and Alex summarily dismisses it. Morning, and David dashes out again (No, don’t go, sweetheart...).
Okay, I think there was a shot of Alex and David poking around at Hugo’s car. (*bathroom break, my god*) The trio are trying to get Hugo to open the door, though they can’t really tell if he’s even in there. They end up having to break the door in and- ruh roh. Hugo’s naked corpse is lying on the bed. Alex doesn’t seem particularly upset, more curious. He’s poking around the room and comes up with a needle and... well, drugs, I assume. David seems fairly transfixed by the corpse (probably not a good sign).
Alex pops open Hugo’s suitcase, he’s breathing hard as he presents its contents to Juliet. Cut to the kitchen- ah, it’s stuffed with stacks of cash. Alex wants to keep the money, the other two don’t. But now they’re cracking up over the thought of turning it in to the police. So... I doubt that whole notifying the authorities thing happened. Not even about the body in their newly spare room.
The trio go about their lives. One night David comes in and asks the other two when they’ll call the police. Juliet is “getting used to having (the rotting corpse) around.” Nice.
David’s at work, getting confusingly patronized by his boss, I assume. He gives David a new client, cut to him at his desk, hard at work, but eyeing his co-workers. And Juliet is sitting in front of him, where the hell did she come from?
Okay, Alex is talking about burying the body, all the ways to make sure Hugo is never identified if he’s found. Right in the middle of the hardware store- smart, Alex.
(Another damn bathroom break. Twenty-four minutes, dear lord.)
Juliet and David “can’t do it,” so Alex huffily goes off to bury him. Confusing cut to an all red screen and a man being shoved in and held like he’s being drowned. Who the hell was that? Cut back to the trio spreading out a tarp for Hugo’s corpse. “There’s something I want to ask,” David says. Cut back to the man, who seems to be getting tortured by two other men. “I don’t know!” he cries. I guess David’s question was about whether anyone will come looking for Hugo, which Alex angrily shuts down. “Where’s Hugo?!” the torturers demand. The trio clumsily carry Hugo’s plastic-wrapped corpse down the stairs. The torturers don’t get any information out of their.. torturee, who promptly drowns, while the trio gathers supplies to chop Hugo up.
Heh, they’re drawing straws to see who will do the dirty work. That’s kind of funny, I guess. Bad ‘80s soundtrack kind of ruins things, though. They draw straws, very slowly (come on, guys, you don’t have all night)- David draws the short straw. “I can’t do it,” he insists, so a team effort it is! Or not, as David retches while he saws through Hugo’s limbs. Then he knocks out Hugo’s teeth. A brief shot of David’s blank face, lying on some white sheet. Back to the burial, back to David. “Are you all right?” a female voice asks. “Oh yes, I’m fine, thanks, just fine,” he says. “Would you like to talk about it?” “No.” Juliet leaves. Yeah, I’m sure David is a-okay!
Alex watching crappy game shows, having a fine time, apparently. David and Juliet are hiding the suitcase of money in the attic. Alex bangs on a drum kit, he thinks they should have hid it in a mattress or under the floorboards, or in the fridge. Okay, whatever, criminal mastermind.
Ah, I think Juliet dropped off Hugo’s severed limbs for incineration at the hospital while Alex pushed Hugo’s car into a lake. Well, that’s pretty smart, I guess.
The trio are at party to “raise funds for the sick children’s unit.” This is apparently bad news for Alex. Wow. And yet Juliet seems raring to dance with him. Wow, Scottish dancing is not something I would like to attempt while drunk- lots of spinning and bouncing. But Juliet and Alex seem to be having fun.
The two thugs from before pull a half-frozen man out of a cooler. Apparently they don’t like what comes from his trembling lips as they put him back in the cooler and leave him there.
Alex is pouring champagne while David tries to talk to him and Juliet about something. Alex won’t talk until David drinks “to love and happiness forever!” Ah, Alex spots Cameron (the potential roommate from before) and calls him over just to blow him off. What a charmer, this one. Someone else approaches the trio’s table to talk to Juliet and David gets in his face all “If you want to talk to my girlfriend, you talk to me first!” The guy shuffles off, and Alex and Juliet are duly impressed. Aw man, don’t make him like you guys, please...
HA! Alex went to the bathroom and got jumped by Cameron! Totally punched him right in the freaking nose! Nice!
Next morning, Alex pouts, David leaves, Juliet answers the phone, but the caller doesn’t say anything. “Let’s spend some money,” Juliet suggests, cut to her and Alex watching a video of themselves with all their new toys. Mm, ‘80s-tastic. David comes in and demands to know how much the stuff costs. They say 500 pounds, but he says they don’t know how much it really cost them yet. Good point, David.
Cut to the thugs, who have found Hugo’s car. Cut to someone kicking in a door, waking David in bed. He comes down the stairs to see the apartment on the lower floor broken into. He goes back to sleep.
The trio eat dinner and Alex accuses David of “not eating like [he] used to.” He says David should spend some of the money, Juliet agrees. David wants to “secure it.” “I didn’t get into this for nothing,” Alex says, “So I could have nothing.” “Yeah, and you didn’t saw his feet off,” David retorts, giving everyone pause. So far, David’s my objective favorite, that’s for sure.
David’s up in the attic, wrapping the suitcase of money in a yellow plastic bag. “Security and insanity are not the same thing,” Alex calls up from below. David doesn’t reply, only duct tapes the bag shut. “Shit,” Alex says. David puts the suitcase somewhere... wet, I can’t tell where.
Alex and Juliet are at the hospital, Alex is trying to convince her that “a grown man shouldn’t be living in a loft.” That she should use her “influence” to get him down and “be safe.” And then they could put the money somewhere- “Where he can’t get it,” Juliet says. “Well you thought of that, not me,” Alex replies.
David is up in the
Alex and Juliet are eating dinner alone when the door rings. The thugs burst in, viciously attacking Alex and Juliet. Alex screams out the location of the money.
One thug goes up the ladder, and a thump is heard, so the other one follows him up. Into the dark. He tries to turn on a light, but it burns out. Its dying flash shows David come up from behind. The two thugs’ bodies drop out of the loft, with David landing behind, holding a knife. He cuts Juliet’s bonds. Whoa, that was kind of badass, in a worrying way.
Back to the woods for more corpse-burying. It’s a little more artsy this time, with David covering a flashlight with his fingers intercut with him presumably hacking up bodies and digging graves.
Juliet’s at a travel agent’s shop, and I do believe it’s Tony Curran helping her plan her getaway! Hi, Tony Curran! Wow, how fresh-faced are you?
Back at the apartment, footsteps creaking on the ceiling and Alex trying to watch TV. A hole is drilled right above Alex’s head. More holes, David working away, Juliet shushing Alex. Outside, I think Juliet’s trying to get Alex to go up and get the money away from David, but he thinks he’ll end up like the thugs (probably right). Juliet tries to charm him, saying he’s smarter than David. “Yeah, well, that’s what I’ve always thought,” he says. Doesn’t sound like he thinks that anymore.
(Bathroom break. Fifty-six minutes, an improvement. I think my buzz is fading a bit.)
David in the house, digging through a desk drawer, possibly seeing Juliet’s plane tickets. The door rings, revealing a couple cops who need to ask some questions about the burglary downstairs. They ask if the other “three people living in the flat” heard anything. “There are only two other people living in the flat,” David says. The cops exchange glances. David asks who said there were four, but they don’t say.
Alex and Juliet are heading back into the house, Juliet having convinced Alex. There’s a fairly amusing exchange where Alex tells Juliet to tell the cops it was David’s idea because “I need to die misunderstood.” Alex comes up the ladder, talking like a hostage-negotiator. He creeps into the loft with a flashlight. All the holes drilled through the ceiling make interesting light beams shine up into the darkness. Alex is startled by a pigeon.
(Whoa, there’s a storm blowing through. Second or third one today, actually, and Sunday’s supposed to be worse...)
David comes up behind Juliet who’s waiting at the bottom of the ladder and covers her mouth. “Tell him to look for the money,” he tells her. “It’s not up here,” Alex says. Then he looks in... Dude, I don’t know what that is, just a big box of water- what the hell is that? But the money’s in there, to Alex’s delight. He comes back down, only to have David hold him up at... screwdriver-point. Electric, not sonic. David accuses him of talking to the police- coming very close to drilling a hole in Alex’s head. Juliet stops him.
Alex wakes up in bed, gets dressed and heads out, while David peers from the holes above like a weird nocturnal monkey. Juliet’s alarm goes off, and he scampers over to watch her wake and climb out of bed and get dressed like a weird, perverted, nocturnal monkey. Jeepers, David. At least he seems a little ashamed of it, just before she leaves as well.
He showers- why hello, CE butt! How nice to see you after all the weird goings-on! Ah, Juliet didn’t go out, she was crouched in a corner. She couldn’t go to work “with a face like this,” referencing the bruises from the thugs’ attack, I guess.
Alex is at work, typing up a document whose first line is “In the event of my death, I want the following facts to be known-” Someone tells him to go speak to the boss.
“I’m sorry,” David tells Juliet. “So you should be,” she says. He strokes her cheek, “Maybe we can still sort this out.” “Well we can certainly try.” Aw, that was nice.
Alex’s boss sends him out to cover a story about three bodies “decomposed, mutilated beyond recognition.” Yeah, he might know something about that, despite what he says. Meanwhile, it seems Juliet and David have retreated to the bedroom. Alex sits uncomfortably while the cops go over what they know about the bodies. He slips out and runs for his car, and drives back to the flat.
Juliet and David sit on the couch. “Are you okay?” Alex asks. “Yes, of course,” Juliet says, “Why wouldn’t I be?” Um, because you seem slightly hypnotized? Apparently they heard about the bodies on the news. “[The grave] wasn’t deep enough,” David says, “I told you it wasn’t deep enough, and you wouldn’t listen!” Alex insists no one will identify the bodies, but the other two aren’t exactly reassured.
Alex has a nightmare about the cops finding the money. He jerks up to Juliet I guess trying to break it to him gently that she’s with David (for whatever that’s worth, since it seems to be more of a ploy to make sure he doesn’t kill her than any real affection). “Oh don’t worry,” Alex says, “I’d do the same thing only I don’t think I’m his type.” Heh, a tiny little something for the slashers, but I’ll take what I can get.
The cops are questioning Juliet, showing her pictures of the thugs, I assume. She plays it cool. So does Alex, when it’s his turn. “If I told you that their car was parked outside just now, would that surprise you?” David watches from above as Alex says, “Yes, I suppose so.” The cops say it’s not parked out there and get up to leave, but not without asking if Alex’s watch is real or not and giving him a card with a phone number to call.
The trio confer, with David and Juliet insisting the cops know. Late at night, Alex gets out of bed. David takes the money out of the... box of water (seriously, what is that thing?), and out of the plastic bag, lowering it out of the loft. Ooh, looks like Alex is calling the cops. David packs a bag while Alex gets the answering machine.
“David, you forgot to wake me,” Juliet says, stopping him on the way to the door. “So let’s go,” she says, “You and me.” “Together.” David calls out to Alex, asking, “Who you calling this time of night?” Alex creeps out of hiding and David makes some very uncomfortable goodbyes. “Where do you think you’ll go?” Alex asks. David reveals that he knows Juliet was headed for Rio de Janeiro. Alex claims he bought the tickets, and tells Juliet to let David leave with the money.
Oh jeez. Juliet steps up to David with her charming face on, and he smacks her. Favorite status: lost. And, surprisingly, earned by Alex as he jumps on David, shouting “You shouldn’t have hit her! You can do what you like, but you shouldn’t have hit her!”
Juliet grabs the suitcase of money and drags it into the kitchen, but David follows and yanks her off it by the hair. She smacks him in the head with a toaster while he’s distracted kicking Alex in the shin. Alex tackles him onto the table.
Oh dear, well, more scuffling ends in David stabbing Alex through the chest with a huge kitchen knife. They generously provide a shot of the knife digging into the floor beneath Alex. But whoops! Here comes Juliet, stabbing David in the back. He seems down for the count. She leans over Alex, “You did the right thing. But I can’t take you with me.” Oh jeez, she takes her shoe and hammers on the knife still stuck in Alex’s chest while he screams, before dragging the suitcase out of the apartment.
Alex lies there, gasping and moaning and whimpering. David exhales his last breath. Now the cops are there, someone taking pictures of Alex. “Hello, inspector,” he says, but something tells me he’s not actually alive.
Or maybe he is. Because Juliet is in her car, very upset, sitting next to the suitcase which is filled with newspaper. The money is hidden under the floorboards, right under Alex, actually. When the heck did that happen? Juliet goes to the airport anyway.
Back to David lying on a white sheet. Ah, his voiceover seems to be one of those “dead narrator” deals, as his body is rolled into one of those safety deposit-like boxes in a morgue.
Credits roll over the trio laughing it up in happier times, somewhat cruelly.
Well. I guess that was pretty okay. I’d like to watch it again, focusing more on David’s descent into madness, which was what I’d always heard praised about the film. As for now, I feel like sushi.
